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Practising
without ego-centred motivation
Lama
Gendun Rinpoche
One
of the main defects of a practitioner comes from thinking,
"I am the one who is practising, so I am the one who will
realise this and that through my practice". As long as
we think that we are the ones who practise and that any
outcome will be because we made the necessary effort,
we are completely in the wrong. Nothing will result from
that except more ego-clinging and self-importance.
We
should think quite the opposite: that everything that
emerges in our practice does so thanks to the Dharma.
All the qualities that appear are only because of the
Dharma. It is only through the quality, the power and
purity of the Dharma itself that something can change
in us. This is the way all the great bodhisattvas have
practised. There is nothing that comes from the individual
— things emerge because of the quality of the teaching.
It is through his relationship with the Dharma that an
ordinary practitioner can transform himself and become
a great bodhisattva. All the qualities that emerge in
a great bodhisattva have nothing to do with the individual
person. They are the same qualities that are to be found
in all bodhisattvas, because they come from the same Dharma,
they express the quality of the teaching itself.
We
should be happy and think, "Now I have decided definitely
to practise the Dharma, there is nothing else that interests
me in this life, I want to dedicate my life totally to
this. Whatever comes out of my practice is thanks to the
Dharma, it has nothing to do with me. I am not going to
take pride in the results as if they were mine." When
we surrender ourselves in this way and just practise the
Dharma with no speculations about the outcome, we completely
abandon ourselves to the practice. We are not expecting
something out of it. We abandon all attachment to experiences
and results of practice and engage in Dharma activity.
This is when true experiences and realisations can develop.
But
first we have to completely give up this feeling of "I
am doing something, I am getting results", always bringing
everything back to the "I". If we do this, we are just
nourishing the ego-feeling, which shows a lack of confidence
in the teaching. If we have complete confidence in the
Dharma, we no longer have any feeling of "I". We just
do the practice, and then the Dharma starts to work and
real transformation takes place. This is the only way
that experiences and realisation can develop.
We
can measure the progress of our practice like this. If
we think, "I have practised and I have realised that",
then the only result of our practice is that our I-feeling
is getting coarser and coarser, so our practice is completely
wrong, since the very purpose of the Dharma is to reduce
the influence of the ego. But if we think "I am not a
good practitioner, I have no real qualities myself", that
shows that our feeling of "I" is growing smaller and more
subtle and that we are becoming a genuine practitioner.
A real Dharma practitioner is someone who is constantly
putting aside his own benefit and concern for himself.
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